The Awakening

Around the age of 20, I ended a 4 year relationship and took off for Cincinnati. For many years I was caught up in working for a living, making huge relationship mistakes and drowning my sorrows in alcohol along with other things. When I was around 27 I met a guy at work who was from California. He reintroduced me to rocks and crystals, which I am extremely grateful for. Somehow I had lost that connection to mother earth. When I was a kid, much to my parents dismay, I would always collect rocks while we were camping and hiking in Alaska. I guess when I dived into the 3d earth in my teens, I lost that connection. Anyway, after the relationship ended, I met a woman at work who taught me more about crystals and planted the seeds for my awakening. She was from a Native American background and brought me into a deeper study of crystals, clearing out stress with burning sage, and turned me onto some pretty cool books. He Walked the Americas had stories from Native American tribes about Jesus, not necessarily using that name, but the same being none the less. That kind of helped me to get out of my dogma. Love is in the Earth is still a book I use for references to crystal healing, very informative! Animal speaks taught me how to understand messages from the animal kingdom, such as hawk meaning you're about to get a message and cardinal could mean either get in touch with your feminine side or some one close to you is trying to get your attention. Through her I was introduced to Native American beliefs and practices, not to mention a very cool shop in Milford, Oh. called Spirit Wind. They had the usual, rocks & crystals, sage, incense, awesome native music, etc and an energy healer. I asked questions about the healings, but still being stuck in my Christian dogma, I was afraid of it (kinda funny looking back all things considered, lol). She also taught me about medicine bags and made me my first one. Our friendship faded due to drama at work, but I am ever so grateful for the seeds she planted!

When I was around 30, I had my first paradigm quake. I was a devout Christian at this point. Went to church twice a week, mainly for the music. I listened to Christian radio, watched and read Joyce Meyer, bought cd’s by Third Day, Rich Mullins, Counting Crowns. I was SAVED! Amen! Now I wasn’t one to wear skirts and all that stuff, actually I wore my Renaissance Costume there a few times (I was a wench, lol). I also carried a medicine bag and a few handfuls of crystals. Needless to say, it was a rather progressive church. Solely focused on God’s love, no fire and brimstone, no condemnation, just love and a rockin band.

During the sermons I noticed the pastor used verses from many different versions of the bible. Curiosity got me, so I went to the bible store and compared a few verses between versions and noticed some broad differences. That was when I started collecting bibles. I had to compare everything I read in several versions. Then I found the lost books of the bible. Most of what I read in there felt true, like love, joy. I knew in my heart something in me shifted. Everyday after I did my daily study, I would curl up in my big comfy chair to pray, Joyce Meyer told me I didn‘t have to kneel. I would calm my breath, try ever so hard to focus, and beg Jesus to make me his instrument, let me be his hands and feet, where ever you need me let me be there, and on and on…So one day I shut up and listened. Really listened. I knew I was talking to Jesus, I felt it in my heart. It took a bit to be able to still myself enough to hear, but I did. He would lead me to certain scriptures so I could learn the difference between what he really said and what the church/ruling parties changed in order to control the masses. That was a real eye opener! Everything he pointed out to me was about love, compassion and going within to contact the Divine. He showed me that every time one of the apostles would mention him taking a leadership role, he would tell him that’s not what he came here to do. There were several scriptures that he would draw me to that showed his disagreement with religions (sorry, over the years, I’ve forgotten the verses, one of the that comes to mind is when he went to the temple and overturned the money changers booths). Through this Jesus taught me “take what you need and leave the rest”.

I was still going to church through this time, taking what I needed and leaving the rest. My pastor  was awesome, you could see the Divine love in his eyes. If you’re in Cincinnati the church I went to was the Mason Vineyard on route 42. I would go to the big one in Tri- county just for the music, their band rocked!

When I was 31 I decided to open a flea market shop. I carried oil burners, oils, candles and holders, crosses, angels, dragons along with other knick nacks. While I was there I met an older man and fell for him hard and fast, talk about a soulmate reunion! Within a couple of months we moved in together and combined our booths for cheaper rent. He sold rocks, crystals and fossils. He followed Native American beliefs, well as long as it served him, anyway. I learned quite a bit from him so far as crystals went and he helped to make my foundations and shift my paradigm. While I was with him he introduced my to the pagan community, you can only imagine the mental freak out I was having as I listened to a wide varieties of beliefs that were not part of my Christian dogma. One day while I was alone at the flea market, I met a woman who had just started on a wiccan path. We talked for hours and she recommended a book called Witchcrafting by Phyllis Curott that told of the story of Lilith, the woman who was created before Eve, yet another story omitted from the bible. This of course got me searching other scriptures from other religions for Lilith because I needed confirmation. (If you are not familiar with Lilith, please google her). I started really studying other faiths at this point and began talking with my mate about opening a shop. He of course was leaning more toward that scary pagan stuff, I was wanting to have it as a place for all faiths including Christian since I was still in that mind set. That of course did not happen…

Not too long after that I took a vacation to Pensacola. While I was down here I found my way to the Earth Day festival and had my first aura photo taken. Keep in mind, I was still holding onto my Christian fears, but something made me do it ;) www.myauraphotography.net . Dale gave me a very interesting reading that was very accurate and got me more interested in metaphysics. They also had some interesting books and I purchased my first new age book 2012 You Have a Choice by Sri Ram Kaa and Kira Raa. Janis was selling the books and also had something called Egyptian Healing Rods, I was too fearful to try them (kinda funny looking back since I now own a pair and find them to be very effective). I started reading the book while I was down here, but didn’t get very far. When I got back to Cincinnati, I discovered that the guy I was so in love with had cheated on me and I decided I needed to start over. I was devastated, but now I know it was all about clearing some karma. So I moved to Pensacola mainly because my folks had a house down there and they let me move in. I spent the first week recovering from my heartbreak and reading that book. In it there was a section talking about manifestation and how your thought create what happens. At the time I was soaking up some sun on the beach, and I thought to myself that sound like bs to me. A few seconds later a flock of seagulls flew over and crapped on the book. LOL! That got my attention! I continued reading and doing some of the meditations in the book. When I finished it, I was starving for more information, so I went to the new age shop downtown. While I was there I got my first reading by Graybear, who was very accurate about my past, and as it turned out, my future as well. I also bought a ton of books, many by Ted Andrews, he was a great teacher, I highly recommend his books. I devoured everything I read and as I prayed/meditated on what I was reading, I got that feeling of joy and truth. (As a side note, since there wasn't a Vineyard church down here and my beliefs were shifting, I quit going to church.) And of course, as all of us who have just awakened feel, I had to share and help others to awaken and find their path. That was when I decided I would open a shop for people of all paths, pagan, Christian, wiccan, whatever. I wanted a place free of prejudice and filled with love. After a few months of searching, I found the perfect spot, cleared out my retirement and opened Indigo Skies…

The Begining...

I’ll be honest, I’m a little nervous about starting this. I have procrastinated to the point my Divine helpers are about to get the 2x4’s out, lol! This blog is more or less the story of my awakening…

So  I guess I need to start at the beginning.  I didn’t realize the beginning meant the beginning of this lifetime, lol. I was born in Orlando, Fl. under the sign of Cancer (now Gemini). My folks unknowingly gave me 2 warrior names to go with my warrior last name.  Apparently I had changed my mind about coming here because I almost died right after birth. The doctors didn’t get all the mucus out and I got an extended stay in ICU, where I apparently decided I would stay and do what I came here to do.

When I was a kid I always “knew” things. I knew when my grandpa went into the hospital. I knew when one of my close friend drowned when we were 7.  I’d even just know about some big event on the news before it happened. Whenever I told my parents they would look at me funny and tell me I was weird or making it up. Sometimes they’d tell me not to say anything about it. Most of the time they’d just ignore it. It wasn't that they didn't care, they just didn't want to believe I could know things like that and they did not know how to handle it.

I never realized I was different from most kids until my friend Paul died. He was a good friend, lived 2 doors down from us. He had snuck out to go swimming and slipped on a rock and hit his head. His family thought he was in his room since he was on restriction. I don’t think they ever forgave themselves. Anyway, my mom and I were on our way home and I saw and ambulance turning at the stop sign in front of us. I screamed “Mom it’s Paul he’s dying!”. She tried to calm me down and tell me it wasn’t, but I KNEW. When we got home Paul’s dad and brother were on their way to the hospital and quickly told my mom what happened. We went inside and while later the phone rang to tell us he didn’t make it. I knew because he came to color with me one last time before he crossed. When we went to the funeral, I asked my friends if they had talked to him before he crossed, and they looked at me as if I were strange. That was when I learned that sharing things like that was bad, so, I quit talking about it.

When I was little I used to have really vivid dreams. Many of them were of dark pagan rituals. In the dreams I would fly out of the house and meet with a group of kids I never knew in my waking time. They were physical beings while I was traveling in my light body. Three of the boys were brothers and their father was the leader (priest) in the ritual. I would always “jump” into the younger one to protect him from the abuse perpetrated during these rituals. His spirit was in there too, it was like I was his shield. This went on into my early teens. I could never remember the “dreams” sometimes I would remember bits and pieces of it, but my mind blocked most of it. It seems as though it was always in a grove or orchard. They would feed us something that looked like poop on a cracker (yes poop). It had to have been some type of hallucinogen. There was always a man dressed as the pagan god Pan who was making us eat it. That was the one thing I always remembered. Sometimes I told my parents about it, but of course they blew it off as my wild imagination. Around the age of 14 it seems, the dreams ceased. Around that time,I met a boy who became a very close friend. He would give me a massage while we were skipping gym (not actual cutting, just "forgetting" to bring gym uniforms). I didn‘t realize at the time, but he was actually performing a healing and cleansing on me to remove the energies of my night sojourns. He would always start talking to me kind of low as he worked, friends sitting around us could never hear what was being said and would ask me, but I had no recollection. I just remember feeling so much lighter and joyful afterward.Not to mention the nightmares ending.

Throughout my schooling I took creative writing courses. I loved to write! Especially short stories. In elementary school I would go into my room and talk to my invisible friends (my family always said I talked to myself ;) Then I would just start writing these fantastic highly detailed stories. I actually saw myself as the main character, living that story, almost as though it was just a memory. I realize now, of course, it was a memory of a past life.

While I did continue to have some psychic weirdness moments in high school, they started fading out, or I stopped paying attention. I guess that’s around the time most of us Indigos were programmed to the best of societies’ ability.